What’s the point sometimes? I swear there’s something seriously wrong with me. I just don’t know what to do. I’m working a dead end job where I’m not appreciated by management, I work my ass off to get things done and don’t get recognized for it, I work my ass off at home to keep things clean and it’s always a mess 5 minutes later….How much longer can I go on like this? It’s bad enough I still can’t stand to look at myself in the mirror or take better care of myself. It sucks! There’s alot of people out there that try to give me words of encouragement and it works for a few minutes, but then reality kicks in and the words/emotions/actions take their toll on me. What do I do?
Can’t quit my job because we need the money (even though it isn’t enough), can’t walk away from my responsibilities because that’s not how I was raised, I just feel like I can’t do anything right. I have to force myself to interact with people most of the time. Force that smile, choke back the tears and pretend like everything’s ok. No one truly cares unless it affects them somehow. Why should I even go on like that? Now, I’m NOT talking about suicide…Don’t jump to conclusions. But I just don’t see the point of doing anything anymore. Why should I try to impress people that don’t care? Why should I keep working my ass off for nothing? Why should I keep…..being someone else’s slave? I’m too nice of a person to be put through all this bullshit. Everyone’s got their favourites and they’re treated better than everyone else no matter how hard they work.
Today I stop trying to fit in. Today I stop my efforts to get a well deserved raise. Today I make the decision whether or not I will leave this life and start fresh somewhere else. Can’t go on like this much longer.
