Life with the boys and their toys

I got a call from the dr’s office today reguarding my surgery. They’ve booked me for April 2 (for my right wrist) at 7:30am and April 16th (for my left) at 9am. I’m kinda excited, I mean I’ll probably never wake up with numb hands ever again. At the same time I feel really bad for not being able to work for that whole month and I’ll be leaving everyone short-handed at work. I’ve been told that I might be off work longer than a month since I do alot of heavy lifting and use my hands alot. We shall see I guess.

I’m kinda frustrated on top of my excitement. I’ve been trying to change the way I do things with my life. I’ve started to pay off more debts from my past, I’ve made an effort to get everything clean everyday instead of procrastinating, and I’m trying to make a big effort to change my eating habits and get more exercise. I’ve lost 30 pounds since the wedding (which is AWSOME!!!) and I want to lose more. I also want to take alot of the stress out of my life and quit smoking (again) this year. These are NOT resolutions for a new year, these are just things I’ve been wanting to do for a few years and I’m finally going to push myself to do them. Jeff has started (somewhat) to help me out more around here when it comes to chores and taking care of Jacob. My dr says I’m depressed and need to take pills but I don’t want to take them. I’m going to start taking my vitamins again and treat myself better.

I have this problem when I see someone looking at me in a store or even on the street and I think that they’re judging me for how big I am or how I’m dressed or even how Jacob is dressed and it eats me inside. I sit there and make things worse than they actually are. Jeff once said that he hates it when we go clothes shopping and the salespeople are a size 2, they way they look at me when I’m looking for clothes is just plain rude. If you go into a plus size section and start looking at something that you think would look nice, the salespeople should not snicker or whisper to the person next to them. There are alot of people out there that are bigger than me and I’m not exactly massively overweight but there’s still alot of people out there that can’t accept overweight people for who they are. I’m not my size, I’m a person. When we go grocery shopping or eat in a restaurant, I feel guilty because I always feel like someone’s watching what I’m doing. I work in a restaurant where the boss has said rude things about overweight people to my face and I can’t get those words out of my head. I’m ashamed to be seen by him…my boss.  The person who pays me to work for him. A middle aged man who can’t stand the sight of overweight people. Why are there so many people out there in the world like him? Do they know what effect they have on people like us when they say things like that? Do they realize that we struggle everyday just to look in the mirror and accept ourselves or even love ourselves? I can’t stand the world we live in. I pray everyday that Jacob grows up to love himself and NOT be overweight like his mother. God, please don’t let my children be like me.

No wonder I’m depressed.

Let’s recap shall we? I recently went to see my dr about the carpal tunnel results and I’m going for surgery on both hands. It’s going to suck but I think I’ll like having the time off (when the pain’s gone). Not sure when it’ll be, could be 1 month from now, could be 6 months from now. Work is…….the same. I attempted to get the Kitchen Manager to talk with our General Manager about my problems with “the bitch” but I’m not sure how that will go over. Krista has seen first hand what Ilonka doesn’t do and what she leaves for me. I’m really hoping that Michael will put an end to all of this. Shitty thing is, everyone else is getting raises..but me. I’m the least paid employee in that kitchen (that includes all the people that walk in the door and get hired too) and it’s pissing me off. I want to put my notice in….there’s no reason why I’m paid the least when I do ALOT of work. I do enough work for me and Ilonka. GRRRRRRR!!!! I don’t understand why a woman her age would be so immature and irresponsible. ANYWAY…..

Jacob’s been sleeping in a toddler bed for almost a month now. He’s soooo good, he’s so smart. He climbs right in at naptime and bedtime and goes right to bed. Doesn’t try to open the door, doesn’t play in his pirate ship, doesn’t grab toys or go through his dresser. He just goes to bed. If he wakes up in the morning before we do, he grabs toys from his toybox and keeps himself occupied until we get him. I can’t believe this kid, he amazes me everyday. When we wake him up in the morning now he says “morning” and when we put him to sleep at night he says “night night” and blows me a kiss (sometimes). The words that come out of his mouth on a daily basis…wow. More and more each day. He’s advanced so much since he turned 2. He’s very helpful when I’m doing something, unless it’s cleaning up the living room…he doesn’t like that. We have alot of throw cushions and he’s claimed them as “MINE!” (his), so whenever I pick them up off the floor and put them back on the sectional, he pulls them off and throws them somewhere else on the carpet. Kinda cute, but it gets annoying when I wanna clean before the babysitter comes here.

We’ve been looking for another babysitter again. Michelle has got a job now so I turned to the teenagers who were watching Jacob occassionally to see if they wanted a job. They took it. I’d rather pay someone who is in school, whether it be high school or college, than someone who’s sitting on their ass not wanting to get a real job. I actually had one lady demand that we pay her $10 (non-taxable) an hour to watch Jacob in her home. Ummmmm NO! I don’t think so. I think it’ll be best when I eventually work at home. Not sure when that’ll be but we’ll have 2 kids at that point in our lives. No way we’ll be able to afford daycare for 2 kids. But luckily the girls who will be watching Jacob are both in NorKam so I just pick them up during the week and they’ll alternate for Saturdays. They already know his schedule and where things are so that saves us alot of time. I’m kinda nervous though, I mean, we no longer have a back up babysitter for when Tanisha or Flora can’t do it. Since they’re sisters, I’m sure they’ll both go away at the same time…like if they were going on vacation. Anyway, we’ll think of that when we come to it.

We left for Penticton and had a wonderful drive. I fell in love with the scenery right away. There were waves 5 feet tall, so powerful that they were splashing along the highway. I could never live there though. We stayed at the Penticton Lakeside Casino & Resort in room 601…and 602. Jeff’s Grandma was there with her Casino buddies so she rented out the adjoining room next to us. Jacob loved it. He got to stomp as much as he wanted and got full possession of both rooms. First night we were there we went out for dinner at The Black Pearl, which is located right above Satly’s just a few blocks from the hotel. Great food, great service. Jacob loved it since there were pirates everywhere. There were alot of paintings of the pirates of the caribean cast. They’re right in front of Okanagan lake and in the summertime they open up the windows (they’re accordian style). After that we took our hyper sugar fueled little man back to the room so he could have a bath and go to bed…or at least we hoped. That night it took almost 2 hours to put him to bed, he finally passed out once Jeff left him in the bed by himself. We all stayed in the same room together at night. We got up in the morning and went for a walk before we had breakfast downstairs at Magnum’s. Outside the hotel was The Hooded Merganser which is located on a warf. Ducks live below there all year round. They followed us everywhere and I was sure to take alot of pictures of them…they were so cute. Jacob had a blast since he hasn’t seen ducks in so long. It was very windy and cold there but Jacob didn’t seem to care as long as he could play in the snow. Below the hotel was also a club/restaurant called The Barking Parrot…good food there also. There’s also the casino and 3 or 4 conference rooms as well as the gift shop. After breakfast we went to see where Jeff’s parents lived..then shopping at The Cherry Lane Mall. Jeff got new jeans from Bootlegger and Jeff’s grandma went shopping as well. Jacob passed out in the van right after that as everyone else went shopping at Mark’s Work Wearhouse. We all went back to the room to meet up for dinner again. This time it was room service (which was free for us since Jeff’s Grandma paid for everything) and a movie. Movies available on the TV were still in theaters so we got spoiled even more. The whole time we were there we went through 3 26’s of Polar Ice…I don’t drink but I definately indulged myself while I was given the opportunity.

We didn’t know this at the time we checked in but that place was totally non-smoking. They charged an extra $250 to your bill if you were caught smoking in your room and even on the balcony outside. I think that’s a smart idea but sucked for us LOL. New Year’s Eve, Jeff & I watched Saw 4 (with Jeff’s Grandma no less) and  spent a great night together.  There were fireworks outside our room and even though it sounded like a war zone, Jacob never moved or fussed in his sleep. Jeff’s grandma had left us shortly before midnight to go party til 4am…and that she did. Jeff & I had alot of quality time together and we enjoyed every minute of it, or at least he told me he did. I must say I’ve never had sex quite as good as we did bringing in the new year LOL. I’m not ashamed to say it either. New Year’s Day was pretty quiet, Jeff’s mom was sick and his dad stayed close to home. He did take us to Wal-Mart though, so we could get some shopping done. After getting back to the hotel (Jacob had passed out in the van again) we had a nice quiet lunch while watching 30 Days Of Night. That night we went to a wonderful little Italian place called Villa Rosa. We had a nice table reserved and the owner was so nice that since we were the first table of the new year, he opened up a VERY expensive bottle of champagne and gave it to us free of charge. The food there was amazing and Jacob loved every minute of it. We headed back the next day and experienced a little bit of car trouble but got home safe. We had a good trip and I’m looking forward to going there in the summer so we can fully enjoy the amenities.

*NOTE: I’m only writing about the good stuff….not the stress that happened during the trip.